Saturday, July 25, 2015

A Shift of Focus


For the past FOUR months, the focus of this blog has remained very heavily on my health...for obvious reasons.  However, I'm going to shift focus for a moment back to another very important part of my life, that is actually MUCH more enjoyable for me to talk about.  My life as a homeschooling mom!!

When I started up this blog, I actually had imagined this would be the most substantial topic covered, but God had other things in mind, I guess.

For those that have been RIVETED by all of these health updates and pulmonary embolism talk, NO WORRIES, that is still a huge part of my life right now, and I will continue to share my progress in this area.  And to be honest, these parts of my life are HIGHLY connected right now.  So there's not really a way to talk about my homeschooling without bringing in the health issues, or a way to talk about my health issues without addressing how it affects my homeschooling too.

Anyway, since right now I'm in the wait between tests and doctor appointments, it's been the perfect time to get my mind focused on OTHER things!!  The registration for our homeschool co-op was yesterday, and those classes will start up August 7th!!!  And tradition for me, so far, has been to start our school year the first week of August; so that's still my plan for now.

Pictured above is pretty much command central.  These little cubbies are located just behind my dining table, and each child has their own cubby, and then I use the rest for storing supplies.  I'm in the process of thinking out how I want to set up our binders this year.  Last year, I used the recommendations off of the curriculum for how to organize and store things, but I really wasn't thrilled with the process.  I like things as streamlined and efficient as possible, so I'm GOING to figure out a way to make this work using just one large binder for each child instead of multiple binders and tabs and folders and such.  I just need things simplified!!  And I am JUST the person to do this... because it's one of my secret "super powers".  ;)

 

This massive book here, is my SECRET WEAPON as a homeschool mom.  It tells me EXACTLY what I need to do, when I need to do it; covering preschool to college entrance!!  I LOVE this book!!  (The Well-Trained Mind)

Now, of course, it's focus is to guide you in a Classical Educational style, which I am a fan!!  However, there are many different styles out there, and what I'm drawn to, may be a complete turn off to someone else.  So, thoroughly research your options to know what might work best for you and your family, and don't just take my word for it.  This is what I like, and truth be told, I don't even follow this to the extreme, it's just my "guide", I still get the final say in how much we stick to the program.

An example of how I've adapted this for myself is that I really love the focus on literature and the way history is presented in a chronological order, so we definitely follow through on those methods.  I also follow through with the choices on Math too.  However, they bring a real heavy focus on learning Latin and Logic.  I do bring in the Logic, but not near as strong, but we don't do Latin at all right now.  I considered it, because I like the idea WHY they choose to teach it, but honestly, with the health issues I've had and being so new to homeschooling, I knew I could not do IT ALL, and I figured if I had to let something go, Latin was probably the least "essential" at this time.

I may bring it in later, but it is just not a high priority today.  Obviously, in high school, we will have to have a couple of years of foreign language, but I'd rather do one like Spanish that I think has more practical use in today's world, but I get that the reason why Latin is emphasized so heavily is because it is the root language for most of the other languages, and that once you learn Latin it makes it easier to learn and understand other foreign languages since they work very similar, especially in the way that words are conjugated and just overall grammatical structure.

So, with this whole Classical Educational style in mind, here is the breakdown of what we have chosen for each of my school aged children for the coming school year.


The 8th Grader

Oh my goodness... do I seriously have just ONE MORE YEAR until we have a HIGH SCHOOLER?!  Make it stop!!!

He will be doing Alpha Omega's Lifepac series for grammar.

We will also be using Writing Strands to continue to work on Writing Composition.

Math-U-See Algebra 1  The best part about this math is that it has the DVD math instructor, as well as plenty of practice to ensure mastery of each new concept learned!!

Apologia's General Science program.  This is my first year using Apologia, but I hear rave reviews over it.  My kids have been exposed to it as well through some of their co-op classes before.  So we will see what I think about it, but I'm excited to see how it works.  Science is one of my favorite subjects to teach.

History is one that I am able to teach to all of them at the same time, because the book is laid out to be used by all grades at once.  We all learn about the same topics, but the schoolwork and testing is age based.  Anyway, we are in year two of a four year history rotation schedule suggested by the Classical Education style, and I've chosen the The Mystery of History for our history rotation this time.  I LOVE IT because it combines Bible History with traditional history, and so what is so, so neat (as a Christian family!!) is being able to see how certain biblical events line up with other important historical events that were happening at the same time.  Last year's focus was on Ancient History, and this year's focus is on The Middle Ages.

Reading assignments will be given to line up with the period of history we are covering, as well as topics covered in science too.  And every day, at least 30 minutes of recreational reading is required on top of the assigned reading, which I have no problem with that with my oldest child.  He LOVES to read!!

We also have a daily Bible Study time, where I group it time with the big kids and time with the little kids.  So the big two will be continuing a devotional study we started last year called Jesus, the One and Only by Beth Moore.  We alternate days of reading from the devotional and reading straight from the Bible.  Right now we are working through the New Testament together.  We are in the gospel of Luke.  Once we get finished with this Beth Moore study, my oldest has requested that we do a bible study over Revelations, so I'll have to look and see what I might use for that, but we still have quite a bit to go with our first study.



The 5th Grader

His is similarly set up to the one above, to keep things simple for me.

Alpha Omega Lifepacs for grammar.

He will be using Writing Strands for writing composition as well.

Math-U-See Delta and Epsilon programs for him.  I'm trying to fast track him a little to get him a little ahead in Math, so that he can be ready to do advanced math in high school, however, if he can't handle the pace, then obviously, we go at his pace.  But, he's pretty smart, so I expect him to do well.

He will be teaming up with my youngest son in Science this year and we are using Apologia's Human Anatomy and Physiology course intended for the elementary age range.

We will be using the Mystery of History Vol II with him as well (linked and listed above), and his Reading assignments will be given out based off of History and Science lessons, as well as the daily mandatory recreational reading time.  And, again, he will be covering the same Bible Study time material as my oldest.




The 1st Grader

We are still working on learning to read with him, and our phonics based program that we are using is The Ordinary Parents Guide to Teaching Reading.  We have grade appropriate readers from Abeka and Alpha Omega to use.  As well as plenty of books to choose from at our local library, which we try to get to every other week.  We spend about an hour each day reading together, alternating from him reading to me and me reading to him.

We are starting First Language Lessons for his introduction into grammar this year.

Handwriting Without Tears has been the handwriting program that we have been using.  So, we are on the first grade level for that.

Math-U-See Beta for his math.

He will be sitting in for science and history, but he won't be tested on them as his older brothers are.  Basically, at this age it is just to give him interest in these areas, but not really about requiring full retention of information.  He will retain what interests him, and we use timelines, activities, and narration pages to help him build knowledge and memories in those areas.

I use a Children's Bible, and various Children devotional books for the little two at this time now to cover our Bible Study time with them.


My preschooler

I don't really have a set curriculum planned for her.  I've got a few preschool workbooks to give her something to keep her occupied.  She tends to sit in during most of the time that I spend with my youngest "schooler" though, and she's picked up a LOT just from that.  So, I expect her to do pretty much the same this year as well.  Sometimes I will set her up at the computer to do learning games and activities there too.  She did ABC Mouse last year, but I don't know if we will renew the subscription this time or not.  She tends to like more hands-on learning than computer based learning.


So, that's our plan this year.  It will be interesting to see how it all comes together.  The first few weeks of school are usually a little frazzled as I learn how best to run each day.  This year will be even more frazzled, I'm sure, given my current health issues and limitations.  We will figure this out though, and make it work.

Also a very important part of their education to me as well is Life Skills training, which is about teaching them how to eventually live independently one day, hopefully.  Each year, I have focused on something different.  The first year was cooking and last year was common household chores.  This year, I really want to work on time management with my big two, and we may bring in some basic budgeting too.  We'll see.


Now for the real question...
I'm sure a lot of you are probably wondering why I even bother with continuing to homeschool, given my current health status, but I really don't want to give it up unless I have no other option.  I am not against public schooling at all.  My kids have been to public schools, and if that's where we end up again, I have faith that everything will be fine.

My main reason for choosing homeschooling is because it just fits in best with our lifestyle.  I LOVE the flexibility it gives.  Not to mention, I always wanted to be a teacher and ALMOST went to school to be one, but I chickened out at the last minute (intimidated by the public speaking required).  So, getting to teach my own kids now is probably an even bigger dream come true than I had ever imagined for myself.  I KNOW exactly what my kids are learning, and I'm RE-LEARNING right along with them.  My mind refuses to just sit idle, so this is a great opportunity for me to keep my own my mind busy and fresh.

Homeschooling has allowed us to have some of the most interesting discussions that I know I would not have had without being right in the middle of their learning experience.  When they come out with questions during our lessons, we can continue to investigate it until they are fully satisfied with answers.  It encourages a love for learning because it can be very interest driven in that way.

Not to mention each child is getting one-on-one attention that they can't get from any other learning approach and their curriculum is catered directly to them and moves at THEIR pace.  I use a "mastery" approach, so we don't move forward until I know the child fully understands the current material.  I can see firsthand their strengths and help build and encourage that, as well as seeing warning flags of where they struggle and being able to catch and adjust appropriately to those as well.

So, really, all-in-all this just continues to be what we consider the best choice for our FAMILY.  And so for now, we are going to continue forward with it the best we can.  I feel much more intimidated by having to have all 4 children up, dressed, fed and to school by 8 a.m. every morning than I do about spending my days teaching and learning with them.  Our city does not have school bus transportation, so I'm weighing it out in my head, "Do I want to be a taxi driver or a teacher?"  And for me, I REALLY enjoy the teaching part and HATE/LOATHE/DESPISE having to drive all over the place and sitting in those drop-off/pick-up lines!!  :)

Anyway, we all have to decide for ourselves how we want our families to run, and I'm just really glad that homeschooling is an option for us because it has blessed our lives so much.  I really enjoy the time spent with my kids teaching them and having that front row seat watching the learn and grow.

YES, we have hard days!!  YES, I NEED a break from time-to-time!!  Yet, in the grand scheme, these years really do go by so fast, and this time I get with them now is just so valuable!!   I know without question that I won't regret the investment of my time, money, and energy into the development of the future and the lives of the four most important people in my life!  I really don't know anything greater that I could really do with my time than this.  So, that's why I'm going to keep at it, even though it will not be easy.  No accomplishment worth having is ever easy though.

Monday, July 13, 2015

I will be Brave, I will be Strong, I will be FIERCE!!

I don't know a lot about PE recovery, but I do know one thing...it is not fun!!

I have continued to struggle this past month coming to an acceptance of my current limitations, and trying to learn how to cope with it the best I can.

This past week I had a few more doctor appointments, which brought me down a little bit again.

The first appointment was a checkup with my regular doctor.  He was surprised that I was still so symptomatic and that my daily life was still so greatly affected at this point out (which is now over 3 months since the PE hit.)

So, he was glad that I already had an appointment scheduled with a cardiologist because he was concerned that my heart may have been affected during this.  He also scheduled me with yet another specialist (It's a new hobby for me, I'm trying to collect them all!), this time a rheumatologist.  This will be to check for any kind of underlying auto-immune issue that may be going on that could explain things for me.  We are basically just trying to do our best to figure my health mystery out.

I saw the cardiologist on Friday, and he was concerned that my heart-rate was still so fast at this point too, and that I'm still having shortness of breathe and chest pain with any real movement.  He did an EKG in the office, but he also wants to run some more tests too.  He sent me home wearing a 48 hour heart monitor, that is pictured above.  And then they are setting up another CT scan and an echo-cardiogram.

The CT will tell us what the clots have done over these past few months (confirm if they have resolved or not), and the echo will tell us how my heart has held up under the extra workload.  I'm just ready for answers, but I know it will just take time to get everything sorted out.

The biggest concern is that I've moved over to pulmonary hypertension now, which would not be a good thing.  However, if that is what it is, there is treatment for it that can help me to cope better with it, and not to mention, knowing for sure what I'm dealing with can help me appropriately adjust my expectations for my recovery.

As I mentioned in my last post, the few times I tried to shop by myself did not go well, so I got really down about it.  I hate being a burden on other people, and I hate not being able to just go somewhere if I want to.  So, I've been pretty home-bound (except for doctor appointments) since March, and I was starting to go stir crazy.

A few weeks ago, I tried to be brave.  Since I knew that I couldn't manage walking all over the store on my own without causing extreme shortness of breathe, chest pain, and dizziness, yet I WANTED to get out of the house and actually be a part of the world again; I decided to go to Walmart with my family to grocery shop...using a wheelchair.

It did not go well for me.

I am not ready for that, and all that comes with that.  If that's where I have to be eventually, then that's what I will do.  This particular day, however, I was NOT ready!!  I do not like attention drawn to me at all, and using a wheelchair pretty much guarantees that you will draw attention.  Most people were very respectful and nice.  Children had obvious curiosity that was to be expected, but the part that seriously threw me over the edge, was when I ran into someone that I knew.

I was really hoping to get in and out without seeing anyone, and just prove to myself that I could be brave and do this and that I didn't have to hide out in my house all the time.  However, the minute that my friend recognized me, I wanted to crawl in a hole and die.  She came running over to me saying, "Oh my gosh, are you OK?!  What happened?!"

This friend had known about my PE, but the thing is, she has seen me since I was released from the hospital when I've gone to church, and she knows that I am ABLE to walk (which is probably the most humiliating part about using the wheelchair, because my legs are FINE...it's my heart and lungs that are not!).  I just explained that my heart still races whenever I get up and move, and that at this time I'm still not able to make it through a whole grocery trip without needing to sit and catch my breathe frequently.  She seemed to understand, and I know that she was not judging me whatsoever, but it was still so mortifying for me.  I wasn't ready to be THAT person.

It threw me into a pretty intense anxiety/panic attack, and I just buried myself in the bed when we got home, literally shaking and feeling sick all over because of it.  I never wanted to leave the house again, honestly!!  LOL

In the past month too, a lot of those close to me who know how much I'm still struggling have been suggesting that I get a handicapped tag for my car so I don't have to walk too far to get into places, and they also keep encouraging me that there is no shame in using the wheelchair if that's what I need to do.

However, it's just not been that easy for me.  Just a few months ago, I was NOT this "disabled" person, and I'm not ready to accept yet that I might be.  Weekly, I would be grocery shopping with four kids in tow like it was nothing, and now I can't even make through the parking lot without it being an issue for me.  I have to have help with everything.  I can't keep up on all the housework by myself.  When I try to be productive, I quickly wear myself out and then become useless for the next several days.  So, it's been so defeating for me to even consider that my life may never get back to what was "normal" for me.

I will obviously handle it, if that is where this path takes me, but I'm not ready to accept it yet.  And I think that is my biggest push against this whole "handicapped tag" and "wheelchair" use thing.  I think it makes me feel too much like I've given up, and that the hope of getting better is gone.  I don't know.  I just know that I'm not ready for that yet.  So, I'm going to keep pushing myself the best I can, and keep looking for answers as I have been, and hopefully things will finally start improving soon.

I know there are so many people that have it so much worse than me right now, and I'm very grateful that my problems aren't bigger, of course.  However, I'm still struggling with how much my life has changed in such a short time, and it makes it harder that I don't even have real answers for WHY?  No one can give me a good expectation of what my healing and recovery should really be like.  And my mind really STRUGGLES with "unknowns".  I don't like surprises!!  I need to be prepared and know what's coming, but sometimes that's just not possible.  So, I am really trying to work on being OK with that.

There will undoubtedly be a new person who comes out on the other side from this because I can feel changes already taking place, and I can't even imagine what she will be like.  She'll be tougher and stronger than ever, I know that for sure.  I doubt she'll ever really be fearless, but hopefully, she will realize that even when things are scary to her, she will be OK, and that with God's help, she can do so much more than she ever gave herself credit for before.  That's my hope, anyway.

Watch out world, this girl is going to be absolutely FIERCE when all is said and done!!!  She's definitely got more fight in her than she ever knew before. :)